I
recently read two essays on two seemingly similar topics; ‘The Challenges of
Flight Attendant Rosters’ by Jane Citizen; and ‘The Challenges of the Airline
Industry’ by John Doe.
Between
the two essays, Jane Citizen’s essay is the better essay out of the two. Why?
Opinion or Fact?
I’ve
always been taught that essays should be written in the third person. John has written his essay in the third person; so lots
of I’s, Me’s and We’s e.g. ‘I have experienced every major airline’. It
appears that John’s “essay” is more of an opinion piece than an essay. Jane’s
essay on the other hand, was written in the third person.
e.g.
Third
person: ‘Airlines depend on automation’.
First
person: ‘I discovered airlines depend on automation’.
What’s the Issue?
When
reading an essay, I always keep the first paragraph in mind. This usually
guides me through the document and keeps my mind attuned to the first statement,
setting my expectations for the rest of the essay.
Jane’s
essay introduces a specific issue airlines experience, followed by what I
should expect the body to address i.e. a solution to the issue. I’ve pasted the
first two sentences of Jane’s introduction below, highlighting the words that
indicate the issue and what I can expect from the essay.
“Airlines depend on automation just as much as any
other modern industrial organisation – from scheduling and rostering to
engineering operations. This
paper highlights one of the most important human aspect of its service: the rostering of flight
attendants.”
John’s essay opens with a strong
statement that reads ‘Airlines
are under pressure these days to make money’, followed by ‘They are introducing
new aircraft types…’ which immediately grabbed my attention. Though
unfortunately further sentences let me down. The first paragraph made up 3/4 of
John’s entire essay that details his experience with airline crews and his
cousin’s experiences working in the airline industry.
Where’s the facts?
Following
Jane’s Introduction is 2 paragraphs that clearly discusses:
· The Problem of ‘rosters, for aircraft and crew’,
· Research into
“bidlines” like “Carmen Crew Rostering System”, which are autonomous crew
pairings systems, and
· Comparisons between
American and European Airlines.
Whist
reading through John’s essay I expected to be reading about the reasons that
airlines experience financial challenges, instead John’s essay told me about
his own experiences.
What about John’s conclusion?
It was interesting!
John’s conclusion addressed the first statement by stating ‘Airlines have to save money in the current climate of competitive
fares, cheaper low-cost carrier alternatives and also the ever increasing cost
of fuel (Wikipedia)’, followed by some of his own experiences once again.
I found the last 2 sentences of Jane’s
essay clearly provided an effective solution to the problem, which is to
‘employ state of the art systems….’ which ‘reduces the risk of flights being
cancelled…’.
Credibility is key!
Lastly, Jane’s essay is credible. It’s written
around 3 research articles and an additional piece by SITA, who is the ‘world’s
leading specialist in air transport communications and information technology’.
John’s essay references three articles
in the Bibliography, to which only one is referenced in the essay. His essay he
makes reference to Wikipedia, which is not a credible resource absent from the
Bibliography.
All in all, Jane’s essay is the better
of the two because it sets clear expectations in the introduction, followed by
research and concluded with a possible solution backed by credible research
that has been referenced.
